Ancestor - What I Remember, What I've Been Told, And What I Have Found

I recently came across an Instagram photo challenge offered up by @genealogyphoto and since my sister-in-law over at Days of Our Lives has been trying to get me to start blogging again, I figured I would combine the two. So with each photo I post on Instagram I intend to come over here and type out a little something. While writing yesterday's post and linking stories to various ancestors mentioned, I realized I didn't have a post about my great grandmother, Bondell Bynum. She married my great grandfather Obie Zearl Melson on 04 Dec 1933. They are the parents of my maternal grandfather, Leroy.

The picture below is how I best remember her. This would've been taken in 1983 for their 50th wedding anniversary. I was only three at the time. Grandma only lived another 6 years after this picture was taken and not much changed about her in that time frame. The little crocheted dolls hanging behind her really stand out to me. There's not a lot I remember but two things that I remember most are her sitting in her chair crocheting and stacked beside that chair were always piles of TV guides. She would always do the crossword in the back and I would always take two consecutive issues and double check her answers. I remember her kitchen and the way it smelled. I remember the deep freeze pictured behind her and how it held Little Debbie snack cakes. I remember she always grew a garden. I remember her home seemed simple. I remember she was always doing something. Even if it was just crocheting while watching a TV program. I remember she had a finger that always stayed bent. I never knew why and just assumed it was arthritis but turns out it had been cut so badly it "drew up" and healed that way.

I remember her death was my first experience of losing someone close to me.



Since I don't have many detailed memories I put out a request to family to see what they remembered. My mom was the first to respond saying that my Dad, Steve, loved grandma's home cooked food. She said if you were to ever show up around meal time, grandma would be happy to feed you a home cooked meal. I can remember dad telling of how he was amazed by her watermelon rind jelly. He didn't know you could make jelly out of such a thing.

Mom also shared,

"We ran around with them a lot and spent lots of nights. She would take us to the grocery store and ask what we wanted. We always said SpaghettiOs® and a jar of pimento cheese. When we ran around she took a water jug and kept a plastic fold up cup for our drink. I have her sewing bench. She taught us how to knit, crochet and embroider."

When I told the story last year of my mom falling on broken glass when she was about 3, I believe it was Grandma Bondell's house that my Aunt Diane ran to.  They lived in Oark, Johnson County, Arkansas. Going back and reading that story reminded me of a conversation I had with my Great Uncle Tooter one time. He spoke fondly of Grandma Bondell and said she worked hard - physically - in the fields and garden. He really admired her. I always remembered thinking grandma towered over my great grandpa OZ. It may have just been that he was hunched over in his old age because looking at the above picture she is taller but not as tall as I imagined. It's funny the way a young mind remembers things.

My Aunt Diane said "Granny made the sweetest tea on earth in a white ceramic pitcher." and her daughter, my cousin, Christy, remembers playing with the fake horses her family would bring back to give Grandma from their vacations and sitting in the sun-room listening to wind-chimes, she also remembered the crocheted dolls saying "She had a doll toilet paper holder that was crocheted. I always played with it."

Now for the facts. Grandma Bondell was born 14 Dec 1918 in the community of Spadra, Johnson County, AR. She was the second child born to Kinchen Leroy Bynum and Ludia Belle Moore. Her older sister, Beatrice was just a year older than her. When Bondell was not yet two years old her mother died during complications giving birth to a baby girl that also didn't make it. They both died 02 Sept 1920 Sebastian County, Arkansas. Kinchen eventually remarried when Grandma was five. My grandma Reba thinks that before that, Beatrice and Bondell were raised by their grandmother Minnie Ora Moore. Kinchen's second wife was named Margaret. I'm not certain of her maiden name because her mother was always called Grandma Young, but Kinchen and Margaret's marriage license gives Margaret's last name as Welch, and in the 1930 census when they were living in Tulsa, Margaret said her age at her first marriage was 19 meaning she would've had to have gotten married sometime around 1917. I suspect Kinchen was her second marriage in 1923.

Here are a few pictures of Beatrice and Bondell when they were young.



And below is a picture of Grandma with her childhood friend Blanche Blaylock in Fort Smith 1928 and a portrait of just her when she was younger.

According to the 1920 and 1930 census records, Grandma grew up the daughter of a furniture man, and a beautician. In 1917, on his WWI draft registration, Kinchen gave his place of employment at the Ballman Cummings Furniture Company. On the 1920 census, Kinchen's employment is given as a laborer for a furniture factory and in 1930 living in Tulsa he's a shipping clerk at a furniture factory.

As stated earlier, Bondell married O.Z. Melson 04 Dec 1933 and her sister Beatrice married Dennis Vaught a few weeks later on Christmas Day.

I'm not sure what led to the next moment in Bondell's life but weeks after she and her sister married and left home, Kinchen filed for a divorce on 13 Jan 1934 it was granted a month later 12 February.

An interesting fact is that Grandma Bondell's marriage license said she 18. She was really only 14.



After a year and a half of marriage Bondell gave birth to a daughter, Betty June, born Tuesday, 6 Aug 1935. News made way to her dad Kinchen and on Saturday he was on his way to go see his first grandchild. Little did anyone know that tragedy would strike. Below is a transcription of the news article.

"Roy. K. Bynum of Hagerville, a farmer, 42 years old, was killed instantly last Saturday morning about eight o’clock, when a lumber truck ran over him on the Hagarville road about eight miles northeast of here.
Injuries suffered by Bynum included a fractured skull, broken neck, crushed chest and internal injuries, any of which would have caused death, Dr. James M. Kolb of this city, Johnson County Coroner, said the accident was unavoidable.
Dr. Kolb said he learned that Bynum had attempted to climb aboard the moving truck, when he fell and was crushed by the wheels. Two other men also boarded the truck, but escaped injury.
The driver, Carlton Hixon of Russelville, employed by the Birkhead Company, said he saw Bynum and the two other men as he passed, but did not know they attempted to get on the truck. He said he heard and felt a bump and stopped as he believed a tire might have gone flat or some part was broken. It was then that he discovered Bynum.
The body of Bynum was brought here by the Griffin Funeral Home.
Funeral services were conducted Sunday afternoon at 2:30 o’clock at the Lone Pine Cemetery. Rev. L.C. Tedford, pastor of the First Baptist Church of this city, officiated. Burial was made in Lone Pine Cemetery, with Griffin Funeral Home in charge of arrangements.
Mr. Bynum is survived by two daughters, Mrs. Beatrice Vaught and Mrs. Bondell Melson, both of Oark; his parents, Mr. and Mrs. John Bynum of Hagarville; one sister Mrs. Tom King, of Huntsville; and two brothers, Sidney Bynum of Tulsa, Oklahoma, and John Bynum of Oklahoma.
Pallbearers were Hebert Bean, Allie King, Benson Frost, Everett Pttts, H.P. Johnson, and H.F. Blackburn.”

The newspapers sure didn't leave much to the imagination back then. I was really surprised at the details given.

A year and a half later Bondell gave birth to my grandpa Leroy. He and Betty June are the only children I am aware of Bondell and OZ having.

Here is a set of school pictures of the two taken in 1947:



The 1940 census shows that Grandma Bondell completed one year of High School while Grandpa OZ only made it to 6th grade. Grandpa grew up in a very rural area, whereas Grandma lived closer to big cities like Fort Smith and Tulsa. I wonder if she was very "country" at all before she became married.

Even though her father and step-mother divorced, Bondell remained close to Margaret. I even have copies of a few "generational photos" that have Margaret and her mother in them.

Below is one of those pictures. On the far left is Margaret's mother, Nettie Young, then Margaret, Grandma Bondell, Grandpa Leroy, and my Aunt Diane circa 1957.
 

Sometime after the death of Kinchen, Margaret married a man named Earl Thompson. Whenever my family refers to "Grandma Thompson" they're speaking of Margaret.

When her children were young Bondell would work in the fields, milk cows, and cut pulpwood. Grandma Reba also shared a story of when my Aunt Michelle was a baby,

"We lived on the mountain (near Oark) and it came a deep snow. They couldn't get to work and couldn't get Shell's formula so Papa milked the cow every morning and brought it to us and we didn't buy formula again."

Grandma Bondell and Grandpa OZ also raised chickens for Tyson. Mom recalls they had about 3 or 4 houses when they lived in the Baptist Ford community near Greenland. Grandma Reba (Bondell's daughter-in-law) shared that Bondell also worked at Priebe and Sons, a chicken processing plant, in Clarksville up until they closed in January 1962. She and my Grandpa Leroy would ride to work together.

Northwest Arkansas Times - Newspapers.com

After they lost their job, a friend of my Grandpa Leroy's helped him get a job at the University farm and they all moved to Prairie Grove. Grandpa Leroy and his parents lived right next door to each other all my childhood, up until Grandma Bondell passed away. Later on Grandpa OZ remarried and moved about 10 miiles away to Strickler, AR with his second wife, Virginia. The old house place is still there. I should go and take pictures when the weather cools down so I don't have to worry about snakes or wasps. It's not in the best shape and will be gone before we know it.

I'll close with Grandma's obituary and include a picture of a few of us from the day of the funeral.

The Graphic, Clarksville, Arkansas, Wednesday, 5 April 1989
Mrs. Bondell Melson, age 70, of Prairie Grove died March 29, 1989 at her home.
She was a former resident of Johnson County and a Protestant.
Surviving are her husband, O.Z. Melson; one son, Leroy Melson of Prairie Grove; one daughter Betty June Young of Fayetteville; one sister, Beatrice Vaught of Clarksville; three grandchildren, Diane Walls of Hot Springs, Reine Moore of Siloam Springs and Michelle Smith of Prairie Grove; and six great-grandchildren.
Funeral services were held at 2 p.m. Thursday, March 30, at Roller-Cox Funeral Home Chapel with Rev. Amos Pledger officiating. Burial was in Oark Cemetery.

Pallbearers were Vince Walls, Steve Moore, Willie Smith, Stanley Vaught, Harold Hyler and Alfred Bently.”

Left to Right: My mom, Reine, her sisters Michelle and Diane. My cousin Brad, me, Christy and Preston.

Did I forget to mention that my sister-in-law is joining me in this challenge. I am so excited about that. While she's not on Instagram, yet, she is adding a little bit of her own style to this challenge by having clever little themes. She's done Salvation Sunday, Medical Monday, and yesterday Tracts of Land Tuesday. She is a great writer and so clever. Be sure to click over there and check it out!

Birthdays and Admiration

 

 

This week the writing prompt was to write about the person in your tree that comes the closest to your own birthday (not the year - but month/day). I have two people in my tree whose birthdays are the exact same day as mine. One was my 4th great grand aunt, born in 1857, the other is my grandmother's older sister who was born 56 years before me. I'm going to choose her. I loved this prompt because it gave me an excuse to reach out to some distant relatives that I'm 'friends' with on Facebook, but I don't interact with them any where else. I started out by sending them messages asking about their favorite stories about our ancestor. To some she is a sister, others a mother, some grandmother and others still an aunt. I found myself asking questions about so much more. I am honored to share a birthday with such a remarkable person from such a hard working generation.

Merle Iris Stepp was born on April 30th and was the eldest of 7 children born to Newell McKinnley
and Zula Jane (Acord) Stepp. She was named after Newell's mother Rebecca Matilda Merrel, and was delivered at home by Zula's mother, Inda Acord. The house she was born in was built by her father in the middle of the Arkansas Ozark Mountains in a little community known as Spokeplant, in Madison County. He had bought an old house about a 1/4 of a mile above the post office in Spokeplant. He tore it down and moved it and rebuild it at what is now known as the Bob Eaton place. Newell and Zula lived there for 16 years and 5 of their 7 children were born there. Then they moved about a mile down the road to what is known as the Karr* place where the two younger boys, Dwight and Tooter, were born.  The two homes Merle grew up in didn't have electricity. So she grew up watching her mother cook on the old wood cook stove and eventually learned how to herself. And laundry was another thing all together! When laundry was done in those days, it went a little something like this:

Build a fire in the backyard to heat the kettle of rain water.  Set tubs so smoke won't blow in eyes if wind is pert.  Shave one whole cake of lye soap in boiling water.Sort things, making three piles: 1 pile white, 1 pile colors, 1 pile work britches and rags. To make starch, stir flour in cool water till smooth, then thin down with boiling water, take white things, rub dirty spots on wash board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colors... don't boil, just rinse and starch.  Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then rinse and starch. Hang old rags on fece. Spread tea towels on grass. Pour rinse water in flower bed. Scrub porch with hot soapy water. Turn tubs upside down. Go put on a clean dress, and smooth hair with hair combs. (Taken from an article written by Lisa Kelly and published in the Benton County Daily Record).

One story that my grandmother recalls that includes Merle and laundry was the time their mother, Zula Jane, and the two oldest girls, Merle and Argie  were doing the wash and a coal popped out of the fire and into the Sunday clothes. It ended up burning holes in some of them. Grandma remarked that they didn't have very many Sunday clothes.

There was a lot of hard work that had to be done back then just to survive, and children were expected to do their part. There were only a couple years difference between Merle and two of her younger siblings that were twins, Art and Argie. So the three of them worked together to take care of the farm. They would mend fences, repair the barn,  feed and water the livestock (cattle, sheep, pigs, chickens, horses and goats). They would also pick beans to sell to the canning factory. Times were lean back then and they only had shoes in the winter. This meant they did all this farm work with bare feet during the warmer months.

My grandmother, Reba, said that because her sister was so much older than her, nearly 15 years to be exact, she didn't have too many memories of her at home. My grandmother would've been six when Merle got married. She did however, remember a time they were in the back of the hay wagon and Merle was standing up when the horses decided to bolt! Merle fell backwards and out of the wagon, but thank goodness she wasn't hurt. She also remembered another time when she and her older sisters, Merle and Argie Jayne, were in the barn milking. This was during WWII and they heard an approaching airplane. When they ran out to see it, it was a P38 flying so low that they could see the top and could hear their mother crying out that she was afraid those poor soldier boys were going to die. She was certain the plane was about to crash. Then suddenly the plane gained height and flew off. Remember the family homestead was located in the hills of the Arkansas Ozark Mountains and as the crow flies they were only a short distance from Fort Chaffee, where Elvis's sideburns were shaved off and he was given his famous GI haircut. Imagine if Elvis was in that P38!!

Speaking of WWII, Merle's soon to be beau, Willard Roy Denzer, who had lived just a mile or so away "over on the creek", was serving in the US Navy. When he came home on leave he and Merle began courting. They had met each other a few times before when the Denzer's would host a barn dance and the Stepp's would attend. They soon became engaged and after two years when Willard was out of the navy, on October 18th 1945, they were married at the Clarksville courthouse with Merle's mother, and her sister, Argie Jayne as witnesses. The happy couple lived with their parents for a month after they were married.

Before joining the navy, Willard had lived in California with an older brother, for a short time. While there he had a job working at The BOX Company. When he joined the navy he was told they would hold his job for him and he could have it back when he returned from war. This meant the newly married couple would move west to begin their new life together in sunny California. They did not own a car of their own so they hitched a ride with Willard's older brother Sherman and his wife Elsie. They lived in California for seven years with three of their five children born there, Richard, Ronald, and Rhonda.

In 1949, a mother's worst nightmare would happen - young Richard, only two years old, would suddenly experience bleeding of the brain and passed away. And three years later, Willard and Merle finding themselves homesick made the difficult decision to leave California where their baby was buried and move back home to Arkansas. They missed both of their families and the summers in Brawley were far too hot, so they headed back to Arkansas where their two younger children, Janice and Timothy would be born. The family lived and worked on a Tyson owned farm in Springdale. Willard worked hard for Tyson and became a research farm manager, and Merle cleaned eggs. Later when the Holiday Inn in Springdale was first built she went to work there helping get it in order. After they opened for business she was made head house keeper. She worked there for eleven years.

Merle grew up during The Great Depression, you learned the hard way that you do not waste anything and Merle took this with her into adult hood. One niece recalled that while Merle was working at the Holiday Inn, she would take the used bars of little soaps from work back home to her mother, Zula Jane, and they would grind it up in the sausage grinder and use the granules for washing their laundry.

Merle and Willard were from a hard working generation. They always had a garden and Merle would put up fruit and vegetables to last throughout the year. They raised their family and became grandparents and great-grandparents and eventually moved from their home in Springdale and purchased a lovely home on the lake in Gentry, Arkansas, where they retired.

This is where a defining memory of Merle and her generation would take place, at that lake house in Gentry, Arkansas, one frigid, icy, winter.

Her grandson writes: 

Merle's generation is the Greatest Generation for good reason. The resolve to do what needs to be done has carried through even into her golden years. A few years back, a winter storm struck the area, taking out power and icing everyone in for days. While the news ran stories about the elderly not having enough blankets, Merle and Willard (in their 80's) were chopping holes in the frozen lake, hauling buckets of water up the hill to the house, boiling it on their woodstove and using it for cooking, drinking, and bathing. 

Another time on a random visit we found the house empty. We heard a tractor running in the woods. We went to go check it out. We found Merle working a manual winch, chain, and come-along to right the overturned tractor in the ravine while Willard pushed. And they did it. In their EIGHTIES.

 

Last year Merle's family honored her with a 90th birthday celebration. I regret that I did not attend and that I don't have more first hand knowledge of this diligent and resourceful woman. I know she is a treasure to her family and everyone who knows her. I wish her many more birthdays to come.

Until next week,
Becky

*The Karr place was originally owned by  George Karr, the uncle of Zula Jane's brother-in-law, Hoyt Karr.  Hoyt Karr was married to Effie Equilla Acord, Zula Jane's sister.

**Caption for the family photo: Newell holding baby Reba, and Zula holding on to little Connie Betnar. Then the older three children left to right are Merle, Art, and Argie Jayne.

Please also take the time to read up on my SIL's Almost Birthday - Twin.

{ I later asked of any birthday memories she had from her childhood. This was her reply via her daughter Janice - "Mom said that she doesn't remember getting any gifts. They didn't celebrate birthdays, it was just like any other day. The meals were just like any other day also. Mom said that once in a while that her mom would make a molasses cake. That would be a special treat. They didn't have very much sugar then. It was hard to get. The molasses cake wasn't made for birthdays, just when she could make them. I ask her did anyone wish her a Happy birthday in school. She said no, they never had school in April. She said they only had three or four and never over six months of school. They would only go ever how long the money would last for their district. So never in school in April. They walked a mile to school and a mile back everyday day. Always barefoot unless it was winter. She said her and her sister Argie Jane, would have to wear a clean dress to school on Monday and wear it again on Tuesday and Wednesday, then they got to wear another clean one on Thursday and wear it again on Friday and the next Monday. They would have to change out of them as soon as they got home."}