Zula Jane - Mother Figure

I can't believe I'm already on post #8 of the 52 Ancestors challenge. This week our writing prompt was Good Deeds. This will lead me to share with you a recent discovery I made about my great grandmother Zula Jane (Acord) Stepp. But first, an introduction:

Zula was the oldest child of Clara Inda Evans and James William Acord. She was born September 6, 1903. She was named after her paternal grandmother Sarah Zulema (Kosier) and her maternal grandmother Jane (Conner).

When she was 19 years old, on April Fool's Day of the year 1923, she was married to my great grandfather, Newell McKinnley Stepp, son of James Johnathan Stepp, and Rebecca Matilda (Merrill).

This couple would go on to have seven children, only losing one at birth, a baby girl by the  name of Minnie Pearl who passed away a few days after she was born in 1941. This baby girl was named after Zula Jane's sister Minnie Myrtle who had passed away a few short years earlier because of kidney disease, leaving behind a husband, Roy Betnar, and their two young boys, Clyde and Connie.

 

Connie was just a baby, not even two, and Roy needed help in finding someone to take care of his boys. My great-grandma took in young Connie while her mother, Inda, helped with older brother Clyde. After about a year, Roy came to take Clyde from Inda, but Connie would stay with my great-grandma for nearly 6 years before his dad returned to take him home for good. Before that time, he would come and get him off and on, always returning him back to Grandma. Connie's daughter recounted that he would get sent back by way of the mailman, riding with him by horseback to Grandma Zula's who didn't live too far off.  It is said that when Roy came to get him the last time, Grandma had a difficult time letting Connie go.  She told his father he could take him, but if he ever brought him back he wouldn't take him again. It's also said that grandma's brother Joe Acord was ready to do whatever necessary to help make sure grandma could keep him if the need arose.  (I've heard a few stories about Uncle Joe, and I'm not sure I would want to cross him.) I just know Zula loved Connie like he was one of her own and I can't imagine how heart breaking it was for her to give him back to his daddy.

Connie is the little boy on the far left (looking at the ground) in front of Zula's mother, Inda. Zula is stnding next to Inda.

In 1949, when Connie was only 12, his father died and Connie was sent to live with his Uncle Glen Betnar, who received an orphan's check for $12. Times were different back then and as a young man you were often valued for your ability to work and earn your own keep. By the age of 12, I'm sure Connie would've been an asset for the family that took him in. His wife says that by that time Connie was big enough to work and travel to pick cotton and other crops. The Betnar's traveled to different states to work. Connie eventually joined the army as soon as he was old enough. He saw the military as a stepping stone to having a better life.

Connie passed away last  year and I've only recently connected with his family (his wife and daughter), and they both convey Connie's love, appreciation and fond memories of his time spent living with the Stepp family and my Grandma Zula in particular. They've told me how often he would say the best part of his life were the years he lived on the mountain and if he had gotten to stay his life would have been very different. He felt that place was Heaven on earth. His daughter wrote to me telling me about how her Dad would take them to Zula's house as often as he could and how she got to stay with Zula for a week when she was 7. She thoroughly enjoyed it. She remembered camping on the mountain and how much her dad loved going to decoration at Evans cemetery. The Acords (Grandma Zula's maiden name and Connie's mother's too) held a very special place in his heart all his life.

 

Just to help you see how compassionate and fun-loving my great-grandma was, here's a quote from a friend of Connie's daughter that was able to accompany her that same week she spent with the Stepp's:

 

"I was only with Zula and her family for a week, but fell in love with Zula from the start. The kitchen had running water. But no bathroom. Outhouse, and a shower stall just outside the kitchen window. And a refrigerator near the shower stall. You open the refrigerator door and got behind it to undress and step right into the shower There were feather beds and no screens on the windows. 3 square meals a day. Swimming twice a day in 2 different locations. Corn fields surrounded the yard. Zula showed me May apples and the work of the beavers near the swimming hole. One of the swimming holes was named after a bull that had walked out onto a rock slab and fell in (Noble hole). I can also remember that she made "grape" gravy one morning." ~CBM

 

Grandma Zula's oldest daughter Merle recently shared a few stories about young Connie with me:

"When we lived at Spokeplant we had peach trees in the yard. One was planted by the porch and the limbs stuck out over the porch. We had taught Connie how to sing the chewing gum song and when he would want something he would sing the chewing gum song. One day we heard him out on the porch singing the chewing gum song and when we went out to see what he was doing he was looking up at a great big ripe peach hanging on the tree. He wanted that peach."

"When we lived at Spokeplant we had a lot of Chickens and mommy (Zula) would catch one and take it to the chopping block and chopped their heads off with the axe that we chopped wood with, and would cook them for supper. Some of the hens had baby chicks running around. One day while me, Argie and Art were at school ,Connie had went outside to play and mommy heard him laughing at something. She went to see about him and he had caught those baby chickens and had chopped their heads off. I guess he was laughing at them kicking around."  <-- Can you even imagine?? Boys will be boys, I guess.

I myself never really knew Grandma Zula. We lived about 2 hours away and therefore didn't visit very often (or I was too young to remember it) and she passed away when I was 13. My one solid memory of her was the year we spent Easter with her and Grandpa Newell. I was about five or six. I remember a vague image of their house and I can remember her smile and I remember feeling her kindness - but unfortunately that's all I recollect.

I recently asked several of my mother's cousins and Zula's children if they would share some stories about her and it makes me wish so much that I had the opportunity to have grown up closer to her so I could've known her better. I will close you with a few of these stories, because they can speak of how much she loved and lived and laughed so much more than I could...

From her grandson James:

 I always thought she had an endless supply of bacon because there was always some left under the sheet covering leftovers on the table. She made the best rice for breakfast or you could say a bowl of sugar and butter with some rice tossed in it. I loved her and she loved me the most! She made us all think she loved us the most"

From her granddaughter Diane:

 She would have us at her house for a week at a time and told us lots of stories . They all started with "younse listen here" Like some of an Uncle being found dead with an axe in him. But most of all she would sing "Black jack David" with us. The three of us ( Diane and her two sisters, Michelle and Reine) sang that song all the time while walking to the mailbox at Spokeplant or going swimming in the Noble hole. Grandma Zulee told about her mom never remarried because the kids would run every man off. Some guy was talking to Inda at church and they threw rocks at the horse till he rode off.

From her granddaughter Robyn:

"One of my favorite memories of her is when I was about 12 years old. I absolutely loved her biscuits that she made. I asked her if she would give me the recipe and she said that she never wrote it down, she "just put a little bit of this and a little bit of that in". So, I watched her make them one day and wrote down every single thing she did. She literally would just pick up flour, or salt, or other ingredients with her fingers and throw some in. She never measured. I took my notes home and my mom and I tried to make her biscuits using what I thought was what she had done. Of course, they never turned out like hers. I remember Karen and James and Matt and I would go on adventures to the pine trees. I remember that it seemed like it was so far away from the house and that we had really ventured out. As an adult going back down there and seeing just how close the pine trees were to the house it made me laugh. Grandma would pack a lunch for the four of us to take so that we didn't have to come all the way back to the house for lunch. She also would fill her dish washing soap bottles with water so that we could make bubbles to play with. Also, I drank more water down there at her house than I ever did anywhere else. Only because I liked using the dipping ladle that she hung over the kitchen sink"

From her granddaughter Debra:

"One of the many memories I have of Grandma is when my foot got smashed on the pull bars of Dad's tractor. She took a brown paper sack and soaked it in vinegar and wrapped my foot with it. My foot healed and I've never had a problem with it!"

From her granddaughter Carmel:

"Grandma Stepp was the best grandma ever. She made the best oatmeal ever. She made coffee in a coffee pot without the perking parts. Just coffee and water and boiled it until you could stand a spoon up in it. Everyone in our family still calls strong coffee, Zula Stepp coffee. I loved when we got to make ice cream at her house. Frozen milk with sugar and any flavor that Watkins made. Black walnut was my favorite and still is today. I loved helping her do laundry. She would use pants stretchers in Tooter and Dwight's jeans. Once the clothes were hung on the line, she would take a long pole and raise the line up high so nothing touched the ground. She named her milk cow after me and I loved going to the barn with her when it was time to milk. I would squat down beside her and watch every move she made. She always wore dresses and when she walked to the barn or garden or wherever, she would swing her arm back and forth and swish the side of her dress with her hand. I can see her doing that still today. Mom had bought her a set of large tea glasses one year for Christmas and I loved those glasses. She kept them on the top shelf and would never use them because she didn't want them to get broken. I asked her if I could have those glasses some day, you know when she was gone, she said well honey you take them now. I said no later, before I knew it she had them wrapped in newspaper and in a box. That was 45 years ago and those glasses sit on my top shelf, they have never been used because I am afraid they might get broken. I could go on and on but basically she was the best! She always had a Mason jar for our lightning bugs. String for our June bug legs and she taught me what a tumble bug was. Grandma helped her mother (Inda) deliver Tony (Jayne's oldest) in the back bedroom of the house. I asked her how she knew what to do. She said by watching mommy. I was curious and wanted more details. She told me how she would hold the embilical cord and feel the heart beating in it. She would wait until it stopped and tie a string around it about an inch apart and cut the cord. I was very impressed that she knew all of this."

From her granddaughter Janice:

"I can remember one summer Mom (Merle) taking me and my sister and brothers to stay a week with Grandma. She also kept my cousins at the same time, I remember Diana, Reine, and Michelle being there. I think others were there also, but can't remember who. She had quite a house full of grandkids to take care of. The first morning after Mom left I remember grandma taking us all to the swimming hole. We couldn't swim, so she said she would help us. I remember her getting into the water in a dress and the dress went up and out into the water. We all laughed so hard. I also remember while we were staying with grandma she needed to go to the store. She had all of us children get in the back of the truck and off we went to town. She took all of us inside the store with her. On the way home Uncle Tooter got into the food and made a baloney sandwich. As he was eating it a guy riding a motorcycle was behind us and he held out his sandwich to the guy and ask him if he wanted a bite. All of us laughed at that." 

From her granddaughter Karen:

 "I love the story where all the men went deer hunting leaving grandma at the house while they we're gone a deer got caught in the barb wire fence and she tied it up! She had a deer captured when they all came home! I loved sitting on the front porch with her singing and rolling her apron and folding it over and over!! When she lived with us every night at supper we would say pass the butter just so grandma would tell the butter head Davis story of the soldier putting butter under his helmet and it melted! Mom would just smile at us as we acted like we never heard it before! She loved to help mom stir the potatoes fryin too. Nobody made fried taters like granny Grandma couldn't drive and she had a saying, "If you can drive it I can ride it!" She did too! Even 4 wheelers! I also remember the story of the Jehovah witness running over Doyle Karrs dog and called grandma to get their license. She got the screw driver ready to take their license plate off when they got there. I remember those same soap bottles (from Robyn's story) being filled with hot water and put in bed to keep us warm under all those blankets. We sunk down in the feathers and couldn't move"

From her granddaughter Tarona:

"My fondest memory of Grandma and Grandpa Stepp was drinking Nestle Chocolate Quick, Grandma's Oatmeal, and Roastneers canned in gallon jars - best corn on the cob EVER!!!! You couldn't beat Grandma's cooking! The garden full of fresh veggies too!"

From her granddaughter Michelle:

"I remember canning beets. Grandpa would build a fire under that big wash tub outside then grandma would put the beets in. After awhile she said, "They're ready!" and all us kids would stand around the tub and peel beets with our hands. Just squeeze a little and the peeling came off. Then we would go to Noble hole and try to get stains off. I also remember brushing grandmas hair.  She would sing  'Froggy went a Courtin' "

From her granddaughter-in-law Kathy:

"I remember when Carmel and Vernon came back here and brought their boat. We went out to the lake and Grandma skied in her dress I think someone challenged her to ski and she did it!"

From her son Dwight:

"I didn't see this but it would've been funny to see - Mom couldn't drive and dad was working on the tractor. He couldn't get it started so he got mom to pull him with the truck. When it started he went to waving his arms. She thought the more he waved the faster he wanted her to go. They were going pretty fast until she ran out of field. When they got stopped she was laughing but he didn't think it was at all funny."

 

From her "adopted from the heart" granddaughter Ann (Connie's daughter):

"Jerry and I got too go spend a week with Aunt Zula. Their were a lot of her grandchild staying too. If my memory is right their were about 10 of us. My brother Jerry or my cousin Gail Betnar was the oldest and I was the youngest. Like other's I have wonderful memories of her great cooking, and taking us swimming. She would tell me things about my dad when he was little. She took him in and loved him like he was hers after his mom, her sister, died. She was the closest thing I to a grandmother on my dad's side. The summer we stayed Jerry spent most of his time carving a guitar in a big tree behind her house. She made me feel like I was one of her own grandkids. My dad always said little mulberry was a little bit of heaven on earth. I wish my daddy was still here. He had so many wonderful story about his love of her"

And last but not least, from Connie's wife Ivia:

"I sure loved her . When she had breast cancer, Connie and I went to hospital in Fayetteville to see her. We stoped at the nurses desk to ask her room number. The nurses began laughing saying they just loved her. The doctor was there and he brought her a ball to squeeze so she could build up her muscles. She told him she didn't need that old ball because she would be squeezing her milk cow's teats when she got back home and she would have her muscles back real fast! The nurses told us that half the doctors would come from all over the hospital to see her because she was such a delight. She was a very funny  lady and would've made one famous stand up comic. You are all so blessed to have had her as a mom and grandma. She couldn't have been any sweeter or loving to me had I been blood kin." 

Until next week,
Becky

And as always, be sure to check out my SIL's blog, Days of Our Lives, as she is blogging alongside me in this 52 Ancestors challenge. Her post is about her ancestor Ervin Alonzo Drake, who volunteered to fight in the Mexican American War. For a more analytical post about this same family be sure to check out her post from 2012 - here.